Cooking, washing, and cleaning: Are they gender agnostic?

Last year when lockdown started and we had to ask our house helpers to stop coming for cleaning and cooking, we all were compelled to do the household chores by ourselves. Initially, it was difficult to manage it but slowly we figured out a way to manage both house and office work by juggling from one to another.

When work from home started, things were not very smooth either due to office load or due to our own mismanagement. There were conversations and memes on social media on how husbands were facing issues doing household work. Along with office work, they were cleaning utensils, doing mopping, and supporting with other household work. Some of my friends were praising their husbands for being supportive and helping them in the kitchen. The support and help were so much glorified that by helping their wives with household chores, they have done something that they were not supposed to do at all!

As I work in the tech industry and it is always said that Code is gender agnostic, so the above conversations/events around me raised a question in my mind that why then cleaning, cooking, washing is not gender agnostic? These are basic things for our survival and we all should know how to do it? Why it has to be associated with women only or treated as their primary responsibility?

In my opinion, both men and women are equally responsible for running the house and they should equally own the responsibility. Our next-generation, be it boy or girl, should know how to do the basic stuff for themselves. Historically, the social structure was such that women were supposed to take care of the house and men were the bread earner. For a very long, education has been the first right of men. Last week, I was watching a mythological serial — Punyashlok Ahilya. In that, Ahilya bai (Holkar Queen of the Maratha Malwa kingdom) wanted to study but as the girl child was not allowed. She had to prove it through a test that she was as capable as her husband and she had the right to study. She had to earn the right to study.

But gradually, things have changed and now education is the right of everyone. The contribution of women in the workforce is gradually increasing. Our society is changing and so is the mindset of people. Though typically we tend to ignore working women in unorganized sector — for instance, household help who come to our house are also bread earners of their family.

Even though workplaces are becoming gradually more inclusive — formal and informal both — still there is a lot to change; but as we say each effort counts. So, it is our responsibility to teach our young generation and set an example in front of them that household work is not just a mother’s or wife’s job, it needs to be shared. When a child watches his/her parents sharing household responsibilities along with responsibilities for work outside the house, it results in a more balanced upbringing and will help to bring significant changes in the society; though such societal changes take time to get actually implemented and impact our daily lives. Such practices will also help to dispel the notion that working mothers tend to ignore their kids for their careers.

A few years back, I saw an Ariel washing powder advertisement. In the ad video (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wJukf4ifuKs), it was very aptly shown how a father feels guilty watching his married daughter juggling between office and housework. He realizes that his daughter was brought up watching her mother doing the household work and he never helped her mother or shared the load.

I think, this is the case with most of us and that is the reason we as women have this thing programmed in our mind that kitchen is our responsibility. I feel that for our next generation we need to change this notion and bring up children with a mindset that cooking, cleaning, washing are basic things that each one should know. If kids will grow up watching their both parent working with a shared approach, then who knows one day this will NOT be a topic of discussion or a glorified thing for men to help their wife or mother😉.

To be specific, this work-sharing is not just for working women, but men can also share it (to the extent possible) with homemakers as taking care of the home, kids, etc. is physically and mentally demanding work. This will give them some time to focus on their interest areas, pursue any hobby and reinvigorate their own identity.

Some people may call this thought as feminist but the only point I want to make here is that with time society should change, the mindset should change, and we are the ones who can bring this change.

What is your thought? Share it in the comments section 😊.

(Author: Garima Shrivastava)